“They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old…at going down of the sun and in the morning we will remember them”.

Every year I stand in silence as these words are read and reply with ‘we shall remember them’. Quite often I then play the Last Post and put my heart and soul into it. I try and float the notes so carry everyone’s good wishes and sad thoughts.

I was thinking this year. At every funeral I have been to the eulogy talks about the wonderful qualities of the person who has just died. One wag once wrote that an obituary is a commercial for a permanently discontinued line of goods. The person in the coffin exudes all these fantastic qualities. So why don’t we see it in people every day? Everyone we meet will one day garner a fantastic eulogy from someone who cares about them. Would it be too much to ask us to try and think about those qualities whilst they’re alive? Wouldn’t it be a gift to them to let them know how loved they are, even when their particular behaviours may not necessarily fit your own preferences. Look beyond the little annoyances to the person beneath.

‘They shall grow not old…’ We feel sad, particularly when people die young that ‘they had all their lives in front of them’. Tony Hawkes, the comedian who hitch-hiked Round Ireland With a Fridge once said that whilst he can’t relieve world hunger he at least owes it to those who have nothing to enjoy what he does have. I was coaching someone the other day and as we talked about her ‘inner child’ she suddenly shed years and came alive. That child is still there but too many of us supress it under the weight of responsibility and seriousness.

Do we owe it to those we ‘remember’ to make the most of the lives we have rather than live in fear of looking foolish? Make the most of life. One of my favourite expressions is ‘if you’re not living life on the edge you’re taking up too much room’. Another is: ‘Don’t had years to your life, add life to your years’.

Don’t you think we owe it to those whom we ‘remember’? Be sad and solemn but also embrace life and enjoy what they cannot.

We will remember them.