Have you ever noticed that levity you have when you are doing something with those close to you or indeed people you share something with? It’s a lovely feeling.

I was talking to a friend the other day about the house she had moved into. She was bemoaning the fact that they’d have to decorate before the relations descended on them for Christmas. Slightly tongue-in-cheek I suggested that perhaps she could give the relations a paint brush. Then I realized that it might not be such a bad idea. As much as people grumble about having to do chores they actually enjoy being part of the action and there’s something so powerful about sharing tasks that make a real difference.

We used to spend Christmas with friends in Devon. It was a pretty full on couple of days: light breakfast, Christmas morning church, presents, light lunch and then randomly an hour or so of hockey, then a swim and then a big dinner in the evening. We were hanging by the end of it. I remember vividly, though, the little moments of shared experience. The matriarch issued peelers and various vegetables to the assembled guests and we all sat down and prepared the veg for the evening meal. What fun.

An army officer once pointed out that when soldiers get together socially they don’t talk about the times when they’ve had it easy. They talk about the times when they’ve been cold, wet and tired – surviving several hours ankle deep in water, marching all night long, going hungry for days at a time. They have had to put effort in to get through it. It’s that shared sense of effort that feels so special.

People who go to live sports matches or theatre shows get so much more out of the experience than if they had watched it on television. They get to share. They don’t realize it but they are contributing to the experience as much as the players or the actors. A theatre or sports stadium is just one big shared experience. The players/actors react to the exuberance of the audience. A joyful audience makes the actors happy, happy people play with more heart and soul, the more heart and soul they play with the better the performance, the better the performance the more people enjoy it.

Next time you’re inviting people to your house perhaps you could allow them to share those little jobs that benefit everyone…as long as you think they’ve read this blog and realize it’s good for them.