I speak to so many people who know they want to be somewhere other than where they are right now but they don’t know that ‘somewhere else’ is.

I have a couple of thoughts on that:

Life is a journey. It sounds a bit of a glib statement but we were never designed to stop moving. The world keeps spinning so just to stay in the same place we have to move, and if we don’t move actively, ie control how and where we move we’ll just be carried along like debris in a river. The Human Givens world talks about how we have several emotional needs that if they’re not met we feel stress. One of these needs is a need for control.

Careers are never structured. A Human Givens teacher is also a student counsellor dealing with stressed university students. He spends a lot of time trying to persuade them that there is no such thing as a career structure. At every turn we make choices. This particular counsellor started out life as a stand-up comedian. Even in the military, where you would think there was a standard progression, nothing is predictable and often the mavericks ‘have their day’.

The shape of the next target doesn’t need to be that clear. Imagine how seductive places appear in paintings when the detritus of normal life is excluded. If you knew exactly what your destination looked like you might not make the effort to go. The reality of the place will include some level of imperfection. We need it. Have you seen how weird perfectly symmetrical faces look? In nature, pearl oysters produce pearls by covering a minute invasive object with nacre. Over the years, the irritating object is covered with enough layers of nacre to become a pearl. The many different types, colours and shapes of pearls depend on the natural pigment of the nacre, and the shape of the original irritant. Life needs an element of grit.

Here might not be so bad if you can shape your environment. We spend so much time rushing around we never take the time to appreciate what we have. When you’re given another rubbish task on a Friday afternoon do you ever think of the people whose life has been made so intolerable that they have trekked across Europe to seek refuge in a different country? That’s an extreme view. How about the idea that your office has windows, or heating, or you get to moan with real people – your colleagues? When your spouse does that thing that they know really annoys you again do you ever remember all the times they have made you feel secure and happy? Even if you don’t laugh together like you used to how much is that to do with how you don’t laugh much anyway?

Short cuts often aren’t. Or they might be shorter but the cuts involved might inadvertently remove the benefit. If you had to chose a route to a destination would you go over the mountains or through the valley? The valley route might be quicker but the views aren’t so spectacular…and when you reach your destination you’ll achieve another ‘there’. You could spend your life not seeing the views, or encountering the difficulties that make you stronger, or growing thighs like a mountain man.

Sometimes you just have to keep plodding on. What a cop out. But if you know you’re heading in the right direction each step will be taking you closer to somewhere different. Often the route is hard. But this, too, will end. And anyway…

Life is like a rollercoaster: you have to have the downs to enjoy the ups. No-one would ever pay to go on a roller coaster that went up and then flat. That’s called a train. Now clearly that could be construed as a hobby item, like all the preserved railways etc, but the real beauty comes in the differences. You can’t appreciate light without shadow. Have you noticed how small the sun appears in paintings of sunsets?

Regards,
Jace